Conflict.

Tonight I went to IMPACT which is a bible study group on campus as well as a wonderful organization to be apart of. Tonight we talked about conflict and the right//godly way to handle it. It really woke me up because I do not like nor handle conflict well at all. I tend to say things I end up regretting. I mean everyone loses their cool when confronting someone or being in confrontation with someone. It's hard for us to be calm and collective when someone else is sitting there cussing you out and calling you every name in the book. You feel disrespected and our first instinct is to get back at them. So we tell them the same thing they've basically said to us except with 10 times more emotion and "fire."

I learned tonight that killing them with kindness makes people feel worse then cussing them out. I know I've had people do that to me where I'm sitting here heated yelling and screaming and they're just smiling and laughing at me. So it obviously works. Also I learned that even though I say I forgive the person, I really don't. It's hard though because I feel like I don't bother anyone or disrespect anyone so when I'm disrespected for no reason it bothers me. At the bible study they told us to think of it as what if God didn't forgive us for our sins? We'd be in bad shape then. So I have a whole new outlook on conflict and how it should be handled. I'm going to work on it but it will take awhile.

She's Supposed To Be...

So, how do you react when you find out one of your close friends, better yet, your "sister" was messing around with someone you thought of as your other "mom's" boyfriend? I mean it sounds nasty, probably because it is. This girl has been like family to me and my other "sisters". We've been close forever. I keep thinking about why she did this or how she even could do it, but I seem to not find the answers. I'm mostly mad because this woman treated me, her, and my other friend like daughters. So basically its like she messed with her own mom's boyfriend. The sad part is, she lied about it the first time my mom confronted her. I knew the truth would come out eventually though.

The sad part is, the man tried to flip the script and talk down on me and her real daughters! It didn't work though because we're smarter than that. So he's kicked to the curb, Thank the Lord!
My ex-friend lost her 5 closest female friends unfortunately and a wonderful guy she was "dating" also (not the cheating boyfriend but someone else). I felt bad for her for a while and still do. But I know she's grown and knows how to make her own choices. She has to pay the consequences. She'll be fine though. I'm praying for her.

School.

So my first year of college is almost over with. I would be sad but seeing as I have at least 4 to 5 years left, I'm actually pretty happy. I hate school but I like San Marcos. It's so much better than my little ol' town (Gonzales). My first year wasn't too bad, but it could have been so much better. The first semester was horrible. I wish I could go back because I would have done a whole lot of things differently. I can't though so I jut have to make it up througout the rest of my schooling. This semester is going good so far. Right now, it looks like I will pass all of my classes with at least a C. I just have to keep on working hard and focus for the next 6 weeks.

I'm actually thinking of transferring in 2009 to Houston. I don't know yet though because my parents like me being close to home. I hate it however. Don't get me wrong, San Marcos is cool and everything, but Houston is where I wanted to be in the first place. I tried to make my parents happy however, so I came here. There's no telling what I'll do. I have time to think about. I'm just trying to focus on school now and worry about the rest later.

Easter.

My Easter was really good. I went to church and spent the day with friends and family. I didn't eat any candy because I can't seeing as I gave it up, along with soda, for the year. It was still a good one however. First I went to church and we had our Easter program, well the young kids did. They are something else. I just knew I was going to hurt a child today. I'm Kidding. They are something else though. I don't ever remember what my pastor preached about because I had to keep telling the kids to be quiet or sit down. After that we had a fashion show while the men in our church went and hid eggs outside. That was very interesting. But it was great fun. I love them kids no matter what.

After church, my family came over to my house. I loved it because I haven't seen some of them in awhile. We ate and ate and ate. It was delicious. Then I went and hung out with some friends for awhile. It was a very fun and interesting day. I've missed alot of people I got to see today. I love holidays because they bring people closer together and what not. That's a different story though.

Spring Break.

So my spring break wasn't very interesting at all. I didn't do much. I was off all week which made me very happy but then I realized I wouldn't be getting a pay check this week which sucks. But it's okay, I have money. So yea, spending time with the fam is always a plus for me. I enjoyed hanging out with my sister everyday since we used to spend everday together for 2 years straight before I came to college. She's not my real sister but we treat each other like we are, along with her 2 younger sisters. I also got to spend time with my baby, Niyahnah. I love that little girl to death. She's my cousins daughter but I treat her like she's mine. I was there when she was born and we almost lost her. She looks so much like me and my mom says she even acts like me when I was her age. I got to spend time with her which is always a plus.

I also went to Kemah Boardwalk which is an amazing place. It was so much fun even though I didn't ride any rides. I think it's more of a family place or somewhere to spend a date. It's so much fun but can also be romantic. The view of the water is amazing. That Friday I went to my brother's track meet. I had so much fun seeing him run. I had no idea he was that fast! I mean I knew he was fast, but not like that. He got first in the 200 and the two relays he ran on (800 and 1600 meter) got first also. He's only in the 7th grade and he runs amazing times. I believe with some work he will be so much better and faster in high school that he could possibly run on the track team for a college. That's pretty much my spring break with the exception of a couple more events that took place.

History 1310.

I'm currently taking History 1310. It is very difficult, let me tell you. I actually like history but ever since I failed 1320 last semester, I've grown to dispise it. I decided to go ahead and try taking 1310 this semester then try 1320 next semester or when I'm ready. So I actually am happy I took 1310 because it's not as bad as I thought it would be. Alot of it has to do with my teacher, Dr. Mann. He is awesome. We have some easy quizzes that are supposed to help boost out test grades which aren't always pretty. He's also a very good teacher and knows his stuff. He tries to make it interesting but talking about kings and queens and all that early history stuff is pretty boring if you ask me.

A couple of weeks ago we had our first test. I was stressing big time because I thought it was going to be like my tests in 1320. I also knew I hadn't studied well at all because I was having other problems that I let distract me from studying. So the test was really hard and I just knew I failed. This past Wednesday we got our tests back. I was scared to even look at it. I opened it and saw a 62. I know to some people that's not very good. But seeing as it was almost 20 points higher than my first test score in 1320 last semester, it was pretty exciting. Our teacher being so generous, told us he would add 10 points to that score, which would leave me with a 72. Hey, it's passing. I'm definitely going to try harder on my next tests because I figure if I can make that without much studying, then I should do pretty good when I actually do study. I definitely need to pass this class.

February 29th.

So my high schools boys basketball team made it to the regional tournament once again this year in kingsville. I was so excited because I knew how good they were and they deserved to be there. I was mostly happy because I would be able to see my cousin play again and he's a senior so I didn't know if it would be his last game or not. The game started and I was all into it. It was a very exciting game. My cousin played so hard and some of his teammates didn't. They ended up losing by four points. It's not that the team was better, they just had one big guy that none of our players could match up to. The ref's didn't help much and the lack of some of the players not playing to their potential also contributed

It was tough sitting there watching all of this happen because it's like the boys didn't see it and the refs didn't either. We definitely deserved to win. We were better over all than the other team. The part that hurt the most was knowing it would be the last time I would see my cousin play high school basketball. I enjoyed going to the games and cheering him on and letting everyone know he was my "kinfolk." I cried. But I know it's not the end of his career. He's too good. I love my kinfolk. =)