So my first year of college is almost over with. I can not believe it! It went by so fast. My first semester was probably the worst I've ever done in school in my 14 years of school. Lol. I was homesick also which is why I went home just about every weekend. I was used to being with my best friend and sister everyday that it was hard being here and not having them with me. I missed my little cousin who I was also with 3 to 4 times a week. I missed everyone. I'm not good at making friends because I usually don't approach people first. So first semester I really didn't know alot of people or go to parties or anything.
Second semester was a whole different story. I have more friends. I am doing so much better in my classes this semester then I did last semester. I go out more. I don't go home as much. It's just better over all. I still prefer to be alone sometimes. I just like to lay down and listen to music or just write how I am feeling about certain things. But that's just me. I'm looking forward to next year because my best friend will be going to school here also. I still hope to meet more people though. I'm not looking forward to retaking history and biology though. I will have tutors to help me though so that should be a plus. So this year wasn't as bad as I thought. I had my ups and downs but I overcame them. Now I'm on the right path to continuing my education and eventually getting my teacher's certificate and degree.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Reading
I hate to read. I never read unless I'm reading something I'm really interested in. I hated reading Hamlet and Heart of Darkness. I know I have to get over this though seeing as reading is something I will be doing a lot of in college. I found that out last semester when I should have read for my history and biology classes. I failed both of them. Not all because I didn't read the material, but it did have alot to do with it.
I've never liked reading though. In high school I started reading books I liked but that's it. You couldn't pay me to read a textbook. I mean I tried and tried to make myself read the stuff I didn't like, but it never seemed to work. I usually end up going to cliffnotes or just not reading at all and paying the consequences later. In high school we read our history book because we had no choice. We read them as a class together. But I wouldn't read it on my own. If I was doing a worksheet I would simply go to the index and look for it then go to the page and get the answer I needed and that's it. I'm trying to work on this whole reading thing though not because I want to but because I know it will benefit me in the future and in school.
I've never liked reading though. In high school I started reading books I liked but that's it. You couldn't pay me to read a textbook. I mean I tried and tried to make myself read the stuff I didn't like, but it never seemed to work. I usually end up going to cliffnotes or just not reading at all and paying the consequences later. In high school we read our history book because we had no choice. We read them as a class together. But I wouldn't read it on my own. If I was doing a worksheet I would simply go to the index and look for it then go to the page and get the answer I needed and that's it. I'm trying to work on this whole reading thing though not because I want to but because I know it will benefit me in the future and in school.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Keiara.
So I've only known this girl and been close to her for 2 years now, but it seems like I've known her all my life! Me and her are so much alike, but also very different. I call Ms. Keiara my sister, because she is like the "little" sister I never had. She real, what can I say? I miss her because even though I see her every other weekend when I go home, it's not the same as when I was a senior in high school and I was with her everyday of the week.
Ke and I have only had one small argument. Other than that, we have never fought or argued. We get along perfect. I must admit I used to get a little mad at her sometimes because she is very forgetful and would lose some of my stuff. That didn't last long though. I don't get mad at it anymore because our friendship is more important than material items. She is the best sister, by far, that anyone could ever have. She understands me when others don't and vise versa. She graduates high school this year. I'm so excited for her. She's come a long ways and will do great things with her life. I'm praying she goes to college somewhere close to Tx State next year, but if not its okay, I'll support her in whatever decision she makes. Hopefully she'll be playing basketball since she's so good at it. I miss those basketball days with her also. We had so much fun and if it wasn't for her, I probably wouldn't have been as strong a player as I was. I know that she will always be my sister. She'll be in my wedding too and I'll be in hers. I love this girl. I call her my other half since we're so much alike. =)
Ke and I have only had one small argument. Other than that, we have never fought or argued. We get along perfect. I must admit I used to get a little mad at her sometimes because she is very forgetful and would lose some of my stuff. That didn't last long though. I don't get mad at it anymore because our friendship is more important than material items. She is the best sister, by far, that anyone could ever have. She understands me when others don't and vise versa. She graduates high school this year. I'm so excited for her. She's come a long ways and will do great things with her life. I'm praying she goes to college somewhere close to Tx State next year, but if not its okay, I'll support her in whatever decision she makes. Hopefully she'll be playing basketball since she's so good at it. I miss those basketball days with her also. We had so much fun and if it wasn't for her, I probably wouldn't have been as strong a player as I was. I know that she will always be my sister. She'll be in my wedding too and I'll be in hers. I love this girl. I call her my other half since we're so much alike. =)
Jean.
So I had no intentions, when I was in 2nd grade, of meeting someone and having them be in my life forever. That's what happened when I met my best friend of today in 2nd grade. It's crazy to think we've been friends that long. I never woud have thought. I have so many friends but only a couple I trust with every piece of information of my life. She is probably the craziest person, other than my sister and I, that I know. She is the total opposite of me though.
We've been through so much believe it or not. We hit an all time low in 8th grade right before she moved to California. I thought our friendship was done forever. But of course true friends make it through everything. My senior year of high school we grew apart for a few months also. But that didn't last long either. This year we had another all time low. Once again I thought our friendship was done. In the end it only made us stronger and made me realize I need to change somethings in my life. She has also changed, for the better. She is just a wonderful friend. What can I say? Sometimes we still have our disagreements or what not, but their nothing major. I know we will be friends forever. She'll be in my wedding and I'll be in hers. She's my best friend and I love her. =)
We've been through so much believe it or not. We hit an all time low in 8th grade right before she moved to California. I thought our friendship was done forever. But of course true friends make it through everything. My senior year of high school we grew apart for a few months also. But that didn't last long either. This year we had another all time low. Once again I thought our friendship was done. In the end it only made us stronger and made me realize I need to change somethings in my life. She has also changed, for the better. She is just a wonderful friend. What can I say? Sometimes we still have our disagreements or what not, but their nothing major. I know we will be friends forever. She'll be in my wedding and I'll be in hers. She's my best friend and I love her. =)
April 8, 2008.
Today I went to a program put on by the BSM, Baptist Student Ministries. They've been having these huge black signs everywhere with spray painted words such as, loneliness, anxiety, sex, divorce, and many more. So I have been very curious for some time now to see what was up with that. Tonight, I found out.
This man, I didn'y catch his name but I think he is a Baptist minister from Atlanta, came and spoke to us. He asked us what if our life right now was as good as it gets? I have never thought about that ever because I just knew my life would get better. It woke me up. He told us that even though some religions shun it, it is ok to have dreams and to want and long for something. If you don't want something such as for life to be better or to get married or anything, then your not really living life. Your stuck in a whole different world from everyone else. We can always do something better in life. He also said that if such things as drinking and sex for example, "filled" us, then we would only do it once and be done with it. He really helped me realize a whole lot. I'm happy I went and wish alot more people would have went also.
This man, I didn'y catch his name but I think he is a Baptist minister from Atlanta, came and spoke to us. He asked us what if our life right now was as good as it gets? I have never thought about that ever because I just knew my life would get better. It woke me up. He told us that even though some religions shun it, it is ok to have dreams and to want and long for something. If you don't want something such as for life to be better or to get married or anything, then your not really living life. Your stuck in a whole different world from everyone else. We can always do something better in life. He also said that if such things as drinking and sex for example, "filled" us, then we would only do it once and be done with it. He really helped me realize a whole lot. I'm happy I went and wish alot more people would have went also.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Relationships.
Relationships are so difficult to make successful. Especially for me. I've probably only been in 3 or 4 real relationships in my life. I don't do boyfriends. I have a hard time with trust. So I figure I'd rather just talk to a guy then actually make him my boyfriend. It makes things easier sometimes. Anyways, I'm doing the single thing right now cause I've had too many bad experiences with relationships so I'd rather just be alone and do me. Boyfriends are too much stress anyways.
I also think I am bipolar because one minute I'll be cussing a guy out and the next I'll be telling I'm sorry. I don't know why I do that for either. I get mad over the smallest things. But I blow them up and make them seem like a big deal. I'm generally a nice person who never gets mad at anything, For some reason though, boys just frustrate me. I'll figure it out one day. For now I just have to make it work and deal with it. I'm trying to get over it though and not do that cause then I just end up pushing guys away and I'll never find happiness if I keep doing that.
I also think I am bipolar because one minute I'll be cussing a guy out and the next I'll be telling I'm sorry. I don't know why I do that for either. I get mad over the smallest things. But I blow them up and make them seem like a big deal. I'm generally a nice person who never gets mad at anything, For some reason though, boys just frustrate me. I'll figure it out one day. For now I just have to make it work and deal with it. I'm trying to get over it though and not do that cause then I just end up pushing guys away and I'll never find happiness if I keep doing that.
My Speech.
Today I gave my speech in Communications. I was so nervous. That's nothin new though cause I get nervous over everything! I was excited though because I got to speak on something I was actually pationate about. The hardest part was trying to actually memorize some of the information instead of looking at my notecards the whole time. I think I did good though.
I spoke on Martin Luther King Jr. who happens to be my hero. I was happy when me lab instructor told us we had to do our speech over a person. He was the first person that came to my mind. I've written about him many times before. I had the opportunity to go to his museum//gravesite in Atlanta a couple years ago. It was one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. I mean he's barried in a concrete thing that his casket is in, on top of this big circular concrete thing that is built on the water. It's kind of like a big ol lake thing. I'm bad at explaining things but it's beautiful. I think everyone should go see it once in their lifetime. He did so much for America and I was proud to be able to speak on him.
I spoke on Martin Luther King Jr. who happens to be my hero. I was happy when me lab instructor told us we had to do our speech over a person. He was the first person that came to my mind. I've written about him many times before. I had the opportunity to go to his museum//gravesite in Atlanta a couple years ago. It was one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. I mean he's barried in a concrete thing that his casket is in, on top of this big circular concrete thing that is built on the water. It's kind of like a big ol lake thing. I'm bad at explaining things but it's beautiful. I think everyone should go see it once in their lifetime. He did so much for America and I was proud to be able to speak on him.
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